#1 – The ROTTEN CORE (“Comedy” X-treme) – #1 May 2018
CHRISTIAN “HATE GROUP” SENDS KIDS to SUMMER CAMP
Valhalla, Oregon. May 11, 2018
The Southern Law and Poverty Center denounced a local Christian Church for sponsoring and sending “needy” children to a week long camp scheduled for a week in June.
Apparently upset at God’s “problem” regarding “sin” and His plan to judge the world at the end of time, a Southern Law and Poverty Center spokesperson who told us his name was Carl Mark or something close to that, I was not listening very carefully, stated “Why do we let these ‘haters’ who engage in “cult”-worship of some Jew who died a long time ago influence ANY children in our utopian totalitarian nanny-state that will eventually become ‘proletarian paradise’?”
A spine-less Church member and alleged Christian, who told us his name Judas Jones, apologized, stating,
“We are sorry we offended a radical secular-humanist ‘utopian’ that espouses the state-sponsored indoctrination of our children to be subservient slaves serving on the state “plantation” and engage in idol-worship to a fascist, god-state.”
We should have been more ‘respectful’ of their fake, sacrilegious political religious beliefs and ‘sensitive’ to his world view of all organized religion being delusional ‘fairy tales’ that are the ‘opiate of the masses’. Oops, our bad.”
The Southern Law and Poverty Center took credit for fulfilling their “mission” and “message” of fighting hate and intolerance. The “Cult of Progress” and “Political correctness” is the “new god” and “righteousness”. All traditional religious practices are non-Progressive “heresies” and “heretics” that must be erased and exterminated.
A Center spokesman who said his name was “Fred” who admitted to being an atheist, stated, “Giving children ANY type of religious ‘indoctrination’ is CRAZEEEE!”
A concerned citizen, Libby Dogooder, stated: “I’m glad we have groups like the Southern Law and Poverty Center looking out for society’s ‘best-interests'”, erasing all remnants of our nation’s traditional past and replacing them with deceptive, politically correct fake compassion and the disguised, rationalized cruelty of ‘social justice‘.”
Libby added, “Allowing those Christian ‘haters’ and ‘heretics’ to send children to summer camps to get ‘brain washed’ with Christian ‘propaganda’ sends the wrong message. Our kids are better off with the filthy minds and compliant and un-critical mind-set produced by state indoctrination they learn in public schools. Why can’t can’t they stay home all summer and get bombarded with all the mindless smut produced by our entertainment industry? I heard they are having a ‘Three’s Company’ marathon this weekend on tv! Sweeeeet! Mr. Roper teaches me about economics and marriage and that Jack Tripper cracks me up, and did you know he’s not really … oops, spoiler alert … watch it yourself! Plus, I went to summer camp as a kid – it sucked when I almost drowned when I fell off the canoe.”
One prospective summer camper seemed disappointed at first, but remained hopeful:
“A week of Christian fellowship, friendship, spiritual growth and reflection SOUNDED fun and fulfilling at first, but going instead to a radical leftist protest sounds better. Will we get to create mindless mayhem, harass the police, leave our trash behind and defecate in public? I remember seeing a picture of that protestor dude taking a dump on that police car! On second thought, being ‘useful idiots’ and ‘tools’ of professional revolutionary elite adult ‘handlers’ with a radical mindless, hateful and un-American political agenda could be FUN! I heard they get to wear vagina-hats, too!”
The enthusiastic young wanna-be “camper” then exclaimed, “Then if we ‘graduate’ from ‘protester’ camp, the state will pay for the best one – ‘re-education’ camp!!! Where do I sign up. I can’t wait to get away from my clue-less parents. I heard this really ‘cool, crazy’ guy named ‘Bill’ with cool friends runs the camps during the summer. Sweeeeeet!”
SCOUT TRIP CONTROVERSY OVER NEW “SMORES” and “PILLOW FIGHT” CAMP SURVIVAL TEST
Podunk, Alabama. May 12, 2018
It is no longer “Boy” Scouts – now all 48 genders are included. Girls (aka “females”) are included for the first time in history.
Controversy and confusion erupted on a recent Scout outing when the male Scouts requested “something different” than the standard “boy” scout activities during the weekend camp outing.
One boy, Larry, stated, “We always do that survivalist stuff– here’s our chance to do “slumber party“. Smores and pillow fights would be AWE-some. That Janie Smith is hot”. This new ‘scouting’ could be really cool!”
The new female scouts were ALSO ‘OFFENDED’. RegIna remarked, “We joined scouts to do ‘Scout’ stuff. We got tired of that selling cookies, ‘girlie” crap. Now they go and change everything! Slumber Party? Are you kidding me? We’re here to learn how to kick some a##. This gender inclusiveness, tolerance and acceptance sh#t kind of sucks.”
The scout trip did not end as expected. It turned out “progress” is problematic and deceptive on second glance and closer inspection.
“DEPLORABLE” ALREADY SUFFERED LOW SELF-ESTEEM
Dystopia, Delaware. May 14, 2018
An alleged man told one of our Rotten Core news correspondent that he already had serious “issues” over “self-esteem” and “self-worth”. When he heard that Hillary Clinton called him a “deplorable” for anyone not following her political agenda, the man stated, “That really hurt my feelings“.
“She [Clinton] was portrayed as the next ‘anointed’ queen of progressive utopia, the most ‘qualified’ person ever to run for President. “
“Her ‘deplorable’ remark really hurt my self-esteem. Remarks like that could give the wrong impression and sense that she is a power-hungry, ruthless psycho b##ch with a sense of entitlement, exempt from all the rules that we ‘inferiors’ must abide by and contemptuous of the ‘subjects’ she was DESTINED to rule over!”
“It’s almost like she has a will to POWER by ANY MEANS NECESSARY, regardless of having a vagina or not.”
“But I know she’s a ‘good’ person who ‘cares’ and potentionally great ‘ruler’ – she told us so. Some old dead English guy said power corrupts and no one is ‘fit’ to rule, but I don’t think that applies to Hillary. Plus, I bought her “Cult of Personality” COLORING BOOK for my kid. It’s pretty cool that my children can enjoy ‘art’ and indoctrination at the same time! I think Hillary was just going through a Rules for Radicals ‘phase’ in college like most regular Americans do when they are young. She went to that all girls school – do you thing they had a lot of pillow fights during slumber parties in the dorms?”
“But that ‘deplorable’ remark really hurt. I don’t feel like a ‘deplorable’.”
“Is that any way to treat someone who just wants to ‘feel good’ and learn the ‘politics of meaning’ in ‘The Village?’ She said, “It takes a village’. Now she’s treating me like the village IDIOT’! I’m a little confused. Plus, that sucks for my ‘self-esteem’.
“I just want to live a quiet life ‘clinging’ to my guns and God. Can’t these Chicago Alinsky-ites hold back a little on ruthlessly ridiculing and scapegoating their ‘enemies’? I might be a political dupe who does not mind being “Fooled … Again”, but don’t call me names! Alinsky-ites can be ruthless, but they don’t ned to be ‘rude’?
“I share some of Hillary’s political sensibilities and admire her ‘accomplishments’ – a carpetbagger senator with a vagina giving speeches for million$, Secretary of State presiding over the ‘Arab Spring’, Russian ‘reset’ appeasement, selling our uranium, Clinton Foundation graft, corruption and money laundering, personal servers giving away state secrets and Benghazi. I don’t mind that stuff, but does she really need to call me a ‘deplorable’? That’s being a little too ‘judgmental’ and damaging to my self-esteem. Sheeesh!”
“CHAPPAQUIDDICK” MOVIE SCREENING NOT BIG HIT at JFK High
Clearwater, Massachusetts. May 20, 2018
A teacher at John F. Kennedy High in Massachusetts was rebuked by school administrators and disappointed students for violating unspoken “Cult of Kennedy” curriculum guidelines that is generally practiced by most school teachers when addressing the Kennedys and history. The viewing of recently released movie “Chappaquiddick” upset many students.
One student, Mindy, was disturbed with the display of “biased” history – “I knew JFK was a war hero in McHales’s Navy, and that RFK was a great president until he got assassinated. I always wondered why Edward never became president so he could get assassinated too. It turns out Ted was the one Kennedy who killed somebody else for a change. Wow!”
One student, Mary Jane told us, “I knew Mitt Romney was a homophobic bully in high school, hated and abused and killed his dog during road-trip vacations and was a tax-cheater, but I had no idea the “Ted” Kennedy could be such a ‘d-bag’. I thought he was the “Lion of the Senate”.
Another student, Joey Friend, remarked, “That movie was not the ‘feel good’ hit of the season like I thought it would be. I thought the Kennedys were all pretty cool. My teacher screwed up royally. He needs to get fired and make that ‘second’ part-time job as a male escort at the old folks home full time. He’ll survive. He says he feels a little ‘cheap’ when Mrs. Goldstein pinches his butt when they slow dance, but she tips well. Deal with it!”
Our “Rotten Core” correspondent pointed out how Edward Kennedy was infamous for his “poor” treatment of women. Student Joey responded, “Our teacher will learn a valuable lesson – there are consequences for exploiting and treating women like crap – unless you are a Kennedy.”
GAY MAN SEES PARADE and DOES NOT FEEL “PROUD”
San Francisco, California. May 24, 2018
A gay man named Harry Normal was walking down the street and remarked to Rotten Core news correspondent, “That parade makes me feel anything BUT pride.”
Our intrepid news reporter further queried the parade observer: “Why do they have to make us all look ridiculous? My sexual orientation might be different than most, but I am a ‘normal’ human being that refuses to assume some cartoonish, caricature identity.”
The stereotyping is obnoxious, hypocritical and deceptive. How is that ‘pride’? That whole “FREAK SHOW” event makes me feel embarrassed. Gay pride parades make a mockery of an agenda of “acceptance” and “inclusiveness”. Just treat us like everybody else, please.”
“Trying to fight stereotypical prejudices with more stereotypical prejudices is stupid. I don’t want to sound prejudiced, but I have a lot of straight friends and this parade sends the totally wrong message about gay people. Believe it or not, I’m a pretty normal, typical person.”
“Having to fight ANTI-GAY PRIDE PARADE STEREOTYPES and PREJUDICE just makes the cause doubly difficult.”
“Plus, I never really liked parades to begin with. Maybe when we win a war or something like that, but parades generally suck. I like pot luck picnics at the public park like most regular Americans. Even George Michael had to go mess that up for us. What is up with my people?”
A parade participant who said his name was Woodie Woodpecker was not concerned with the “mixed messages” the parade sent to the general public – “What’s nooot to like, this is just faaaaabuuulous !!!!, he said with a strange lisp.